Birding is like a hit-and-run accident.
Birding is like a one-night stand.
Birding is like a drive-by shooting.
Go ahead, call me melodramatic. I will not deny these
accusations. A synonym for dramatic exaggeration is hyperbole, an apparently
acceptable literary technique. I’m safe.
Seriously, though—birding, at least for me, has become an
assassin’s business. A flash of black and yellow! Bins up: Townsend’s Warbler.
Bins down. End of story. The individual bird is a nobody, a misunderstood and
unappreciated cog in the wheel of our superficial birding pleasure.
Birding, birder—these designations release a slight bitter
taste in my brain. So, I decided to go birdwatching. Accoutered with
only binoculars and sketchpad, I headed out the door to find a bird to watch
for half an hour. Just the two of us—me and the bird—for thirty minutes.
Ravens and Audubon’s Warblers I deemed too flighty for half
an hour of continuous observation. I could not bear the thought of watching a
Coot or a Mallard for such a long time. So, I selected a Say’s Phoebe as my
victim. The grass was still damp with morning dew, but I sat anyway, reasoning
that a wet butt was well worth the enlightenment.
The phoebe was also sitting in the grass. Occasionally it
would float upwards with wings a-quiver, only to suddenly nosedive into the
jungle of Kentucky Bluegrass to snag some unfortunate moth. Despite this savage
carnivory, I realized that the Say’s Phoebe is a very gentle bird. The tones of
sepia subtly blend into each other, accented by salmon-colored flanks. It
daintily perches and floats from post to post, occasionally piping a forlorn
whistle.
However admiral the phoebe was, my attention suffered
continuous assaults. Barely two minutes into my vigil—kippy-tippy-tickery,
a Summer Tanager attempted to sabotage my experiment. Then, belligerent grunts
gave me a start—three feet behind me, several coots waddled and quarreled,
probably indignant about my egregious miscalculation of their race. But for
thirty minutes I stubbornly watched that single Say’s.
